ACCEPT, ASSESS, ADJUST

First of a Three Part Post

Halter necks
Spaghetti Straps
Strapless
Bodycon/Figure hugging dresses and tops
Elastic Waists (dresses and skirts)
Bell Bottoms
High Rise Jeans
Large floral prints
Maxi dresses
Pencil skirts
Fitted regular T-shirts
Knee length dresses and skirts
Any dress or skirt with flowy baselines
Stilettos
Heeled sandals (block, high etc)
Narrow Front heels

Long list? These are the clothing and shoe types I have omitted from my wardrobe when I ACCEPTED my physique. After having ASSESSED myself, I ADJUSTED my wardrobe and more importantly my mindset to suit.

I am by no means presently, a professional fashion stylist or advisor. I speak solely from observation and personal experience.

ACCEPT

Accept that your body, your physical self, is a reflection of everything you are. When you look in the mirror who do you see? When you look at your love handles, do you see fat? or a woman struggling to balance a healthy diet with classes, work, children, and family? When you look at your wadrobe, do you see a timid shy dresser or do you see an upbringing from a strong religious background? Growing up in a Seventh-Day Adventist home has never left me, it influences my choice of dress even today, even if I have to choose an outfit for a Carnival fete, it has never left me.

When you see “fat”, do you see the struggle to deal with PCOS? or just a tight jeans? Saggy arms, the ones that continue to wave five minutes after you’ve actually stopped waving, whey yuh feel dat come from? It came from you, the individual, the daily struggles that is LIFE. There is a reason we lose weight when we’re stressed, or we eat a “five piece KFC” when we frustrated, we drink beers when we’re tired or run 10km around Brian Lara Stadium. When you go to the gym, or take a walk, and you call it “me time”, when yuh admiring the curves or the muscles, you see a work of art to be proud of. You see a disciplined, strong mindset. Our bodies are just a reflection or our experiences.

Personal story here, since I was fourteen I have been on diets, wearing “girdles” to flatten my twenty-two inch waist and belly. When I look at photos of my younger self I cringe, I never saw what everyone saw, I only saw fat. I saw love handles, an out of proportion body, one that never looked like the ones in the magazine. I weighed 118lbs, AND I WAS FAT!!!

If you’re telling yourself that was then, you’re wrong, I still deal with “fat”, or an out of proportion body. As much as I have accepted that my body is mine, and my experiences, it is a daily struggle, one I am not ashamed of. If Kim Kardashian could spend upwards of $100,000USD a year on her body and still wear shapewear, or better yet create her own shapewear to “fix” things, who is me? I good jus so, YOU GOOD JUS SO!!!

ACCEPT your body for what it is, it’s a canvas where you tell everyone your story. Paint it, be proud of it, that work of art is “ah one piece” that nobody else has. Dress it up, be subtle, you control the tone you set, you control the narrative of your experiences.

Acceptance also means that you understand what you have, and what you don’t. Accepting that your strength may not be the same as your best friend, or the “skinny girl” you know. Accept that yuh hips lil broad, and yuh foot lil magga. Look at yourself and accept that your dark skin is gorgeous, and so what if the stretch marks show? Everyone wants a flat stomach; if I could afford it, I would do “work” no lie. I have accepted that I cannot wear the fitted dress to look sexy the way my friends do, but I have learnt to work with what I have. As much as it is a struggle oftentimes, there is much liberation when you accept.

Next post we will ASSESS this “canvas” and how to colour it. Find what stands out, find what you love about your story, your body and show it off. Marilyn Monroe once wore a potato sack to prove that she could look good in anything. She knew her strengths.

Find yours, look at yourself, find what makes you smile about your body, whether it’s your legs, calves, collar bone (wonderful collarbone, lol), shoulders, arms, height, anything. Feel free to share your story too in the comments below. We are in this together.